Here's why Han Solo Rules...
23:59 Sep 11 2007
Times Read: 648
> The Top 15 Han Solo Quotes You Need to Use in Regular Conversation <
Written by Anthony Burch
We at DoubleViking consider Han Solo to be the apex of all that is manly. He’s our number one role model, he’s a badass in his own right, and his sarcastic, roguish presence helped make the original trilogy vastly superior to the crappy prequels. He’s so cool, in fact, that we have to suggest you model your life around him – or, at the very least, use some of his quotes in everyday conversation. So, without further ado, here are the fifteen best Han Solo quotes (and when to say them), ranked in order of importance.
15. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
When to say it: When you get a bad feeling, obviously
Had Han Solo been the only character to speak this line in the entire series, it definitely would have been much higher on the list. In reality, sadly, the line is present in every single Star Wars film, thus downplaying its importance as a method of character development, instead turning it into a device that allows George Lucas to wink at the audience. It’s a cute line, but it’s not distinctly Han Solo.
14. “Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly alright now. We're fine, we're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you?”
When to say it: When your cell phone signal begins to break up
Granted, this is a Star Wars quote which will almost immediately get recognized as a Star Wars quote -- hopefully, you’ll never find yourself in a real life situation where you have to use the term “weapons malfunction.” Still, though, if you’ve got to go through the typically banal “wait, you’re breaking up – can you hear me?” conversation with a friend over your phone, why not throw in a Han Solo quote for good measure? Pretty much everything Harrison Ford says in the series is gold – in everyday life, one should always be searching for methods, no matter how forced, to speak the words of Han Solo.
13. “No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE.”
When to say it: When working on a project with a partner
This particular quote won’t make you look particularly cool or Han Solo-ish, but if you use this quote on someone and they recognize it as what Han yells to Chewie at the beginning of Empire Strikes Back, marry them. Immediately. Doesn’t matter what gender they are.
12. “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”
When to say it: When a friend accomplishes something
As much as you like your friends, you can’t give them too much credit: genuine enthusiasm from one friend to another is generally a trait only shared by women, and Han Solo is decidedly not a woman (in fact, his penis could probably break concrete). You can only use this line (or lines like it) for only so long towards your friends – one must be careful to stay in the realm of “lovable asshole” and not crossover into “outright asshole” territory. You want your friends to stay your friends, regardless of how much you may want to mock their accomplishments.
11. “Never tell me the odds!”
When to say it: When gambling
If anything, a decision to not know the odds when gambling seems like lunacy. Logic would dictate that if you bet on a boxing match, you’d damn well better know the spread, right? Well, not if you want to look like a bad-ass, you don’t. Refusing to hear the odds when gambling is so blatant a mistake, so obvious a screw-up, that the other gamblers around you will have no choice but to seriously consider what you hope to accomplish by insulating yourself from the odds. Some of the more nervous men, influenced by your steadfast refusal to play by the rules, may change their bets. Their changed bets will influence others to change bets, and, before you know it, your one line of Han Solo dialogue has completely reversed the spread. And if, by chance, your boxer of choice should actually win, then you will be viewed as a gambling prodigy – a man with an unconventional, unbeatable system who knows exactly what he is doing. And as is the case with so many of these Han quotes, seeming to know what you’re doing is a lot more important than actually knowing what you’re doing.
10. “Yeah, I’ll bet you have.”
When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he’s been waiting a long time to bring you in
But after you say it, MAKE SURE TO SHOOT FIRST. Even if you somehow manage to “dodge” his blaster shot and return fire in self-defense, it will look nowhere near as cool as if you’d just taken the initiative and blasted the sonofabitch before he knew what hit him. Honestly, what kind of moron would even consider not having Han shoot first?
9. “Here’s where the fun begins.”
COMMENTS
-